Annoying to the Extreme!

I've never been an animal person. There are many many reasons for my overall aversion. Like the fact that growing up I never had a pet. My parents were always strictly against the idea of having yet another mouth to feed. I have to admit I understand. I would rather have another kid over a pet any day. The kid would one day learn to appreciate all you've done for it where the dog or cat would probably never stop thinking the food materialised in the bowl everyday.



Another reason for my general dislike of the filth denizens is my jobs, past and present. When I was a mailman I was always on edge. Seemingly around every corner was a dog whose life's ambition was to eat me. I was chased out of more yards then I wasn't. After my allotted year had run out and the union decided I wasn't allowed to deliver mail anymore (Not a fan of unions. But that's another rant), my postal colleagues were all surprised I had lasted the whole year without being ravaged by a dog.



After that I got a job at what I affectionately refer to as, The Hippie Pet Food Store. There I would have to, almost on a biweekly basis, clean amorphous yellow puddles left by our patrons pets. Usually the customer would just stand there watching me, not trying very hard to sound remorseful.



After a while that job just wasn't making up for living expenses. So a'second job a'hunting I went. My second job materialized in the form of cleaning pools by adding chemicals. It paid better and the benefits were surprisingly beneficial. Of course there was a dark cloud to this silver lining. Just last week I was bitten by two dogs on the same day. On an average, I get attacked by about 6 dogs a day.



The other day I had a bit of an epiphany though. It isnt so much that I hate dogs. I more hate dog owners. Don't get me wrong. Not all dog owners are bad people. Many dog owners are responsible and smart enough to own a dog. Its just there are so many dog owners that are either too lazy or just plain too stupid to be able to properly care for an animal.



Take this woman whose pool I clean every other wednesday. The first time I serviced her pool, her dog ran after me and I had to jump the fence. She saw this. The next time she came out of her house and explained that her dog would never bite anyone. That sounded great. Except that the entire time she was talking to me her dog had its teeth out and kept jumping at me. The only reason it didnt bite me was because I kept deflecting it's face with my bleach jug. With all of this happening right in front of her the woman still never brings her dog inside when I service her pool. Every other week I have to risk the seat of my pants running for her wall which I have then have to flip over like Im Jackie Chan.



The downright pompous idiocy of people like this woman never ceases to amaze me. I swear, when the good Lord was handing out brains this woman said, "No, thankyou. I'll have the pudding."



You should have to get a pet license before you're allowed to own a pet. Think about it. I know there are a lot of pets out there and it seems like less people being able to own them would only make more of them homeless. But if only responsible people were allowed to own pets than the people who would have pets, but not get the neutered, wouldn't be able to own them, so there would be less homeless pets. You see?



The test to get a pet license would look something like this.



+Would you carry your pet in a purse?

+Would you have a broken fence that your dog would easily get out of?

+Would you ignore leash laws?

+Do you really believe your dog would never bite anyone?

+Are you stupid?



If the person answers yes to any of these questions, THEY will be spayed or neutered.